The Mustache Club
The hair on our heads is falling out. But it is sprouting in new places. A 21-cent solution to the Midlife Mustache
I will tell you a little story about the Rock Star and the Reporter.
The Reporter was asked to cover a big designer’s store opening.
The Rock Star was a well-admired female punk musician. The Reporter loooved the Rock Star and listened to all of her music. The Rock Star had amazing personal style and was all over the fashion magazines because of it. The Rock Star had been invited to hang out at the event as one of the cooler guests.
When the Reporter got to the event, she was introduced to the Rock Star and got to shake her hand up close and personal. They had a lovely verbal exchange, but the Reporter remembered none of what the Rock Star said because she had zeroed in (admittedly! shamefully!) on the Rock Star’s thick black mustache. The Reporter tried to look away and discard society’s judgment, but, alas, she was too shallow and spent most of the conversation wondering if the Rock Star knew she had a mustache.
Ok, so the Reporter is me. And I admit that other people’s hair dilemmas fascinate and distract me. So I was pretty horrified to discover that, post-menopause, my own upper lip sprouted a Rock Star ‘Stache! Luckily, one of my daughter’s roomies told me about Nad’s Facial Wax Strips. Small enough to warm in your hands, you peel the little green strip open, apply, rip, and within two minutes are ‘stache-free. All for about 21 cents an application!
Now if I could only understand why the Rock Star didn’t want to do this!
Hi Lesley, great tip, thank you. My mom’s favourite joke was ‘Are you the bearded lady? No, I’m her sister.’ Gallows humour for us as our Italian genes makes some of the women in my family prone to face and lip fuzz ranging from fluff to full handlebar, in some painful cases. I was one of the luckier ‘fluff’ ones, but my sister got the full whammy. Starting at age 15, because of teasing, she waxed her ‘tache and years later ended up with a full beard. Needless to say, this caused a lot of emotional and social fall out. Since the advent of laser, it has improved, but needs constant maintenance.
Post-meno, I’ve also sprouted a teen-boy dark smudge above my lips, not to mention the odd long and wiry hair on my cheeks and chin – what is that?
From this experience and research into how to address this, and in my sacred duty as an ex-beauty editor, I need to caution women with androgenetic hormonal issues (sensitivity to testosterone) to be careful about waxing, as you could end up with more than you started with. Hair removal laser can work in some instances (the hormonal stuff is difficult), or there’s good ol’ electrolyis.
If those don’t work, there’s always bleaching, which is probably the safest option. You may have fuzz, but at least it’s only visible in the light.
Thanks Daniela: those long hairs are called “hag hairs” and they grow fast due to hormone imbalance. They are really freaky and are best yanked out one by one.
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