Reading: Sexting in the Time of Corona

I’m into sexting. 

Yeah, I said it. 

I’m a sexter. I have been since discovering Fear of Flying as a teenager. Now, that was before sexting was possible electronically, but what Erica Jong, and later Penthouse Letters, provided for me was the vocabulary for fantasy in type. The high school version of sexting took place in note passing, with the flirtatious “I’m into you.” Today it’s replaced by a notification on my iPhone asking me what I’m wearing. 

Sexting is an interactive form of erotica, fantasies spelled out, fantasies that you control, submit to, and participate in. All variations of something we’ve all been doing for decades. For me, I’m a one-person-at-a-time sexter; I don’t do it with multiple partners, usually just one person at a stretch, much like dating.

I’m also very, very, very single. And I can’t have company right now, not with social distancing being all the rage. So for me, sexting is very, very, very convenient. 

There are so many pluses to sexting. You’re sheltering in place, but you can sext from anywhere in your home! You can even multitask, so the laundry still gets done while you’re typing, “Oh, baby, I like it like that.” You control the pace, and at a time where so much seems out of control, how hot is being on top right now? And most of all, it’s fun.

Are you new to sexting? Then this pandemic is a wonderful window to start exploring.

Sexting, for the Coupled

Sexting is a discreet and sexy way to connect with your partner, and a surefire way to liven up this interminable pandemic. Just picture it: your partner is hunched over his guitar, desperately trying to figure out the chords to Stairway to Heaven. It’s the most annoying thing to listen to, right? What better a diversion than you texting him — from the other side of the room, as your kids’ noses are buried in their Switches — “That’s so hot.” 

Plus, if you and your partner are at each other’s throats (and who isn’t these days?), sexting is a nice way to massage that tension. Especially if your kids are crawling into bed with you every night, and you’re not having sex with each other IRL.

One tip before you begin: Reduce your font size. So if you’re sitting on the couch, your nosy kid won’t see you typing, “Oh yes, baby tap that ass,” and forever lose their appetite.

Sexting Is Age-Blind

So what, you’re 55 and you’re in menopause? What about that precludes you from fantasizing? Not a dang thing. Sexting does not belong to millennials; I don’t want to hear you say, “I’m too old for this shit.” You may be over sex, but you’re not too old for it. 

Your libido ain’t broke, so don’t treat it like it is. This will be a good workout! And considering how experienced we are sexually, sexting is a forum where we can dabble in the areas we’ve been reluctant to try. Even if your actual meniscus needs an operation, you can still get on your knees digitally.

Sexting Is in Your Control

Do you remember that first time you told your partner what you wanted? How good that felt — not simply your partner responding to your needs, but your actual articulation of it? That’s essentially sexting in a nutshell: the spelling out of what you want done to you, what you want to do to your partner, and vice versa. And for those of us quarantined, without easy and safe access to the people you’d meet on apps, what better substitution than sexting? You can control the narrative. You can control the character you want to be. You can also…not be in control. How freeing is that?

So go. Enjoy. Sexting is not only for the nubile millennial childfree single ones — sexting is for all of us, of all ages, paired up or on our own. Sexting is social distancing at its finest; an opportunity to enjoy pleasure without health implications. And while it’s not an art form, it’s not a taboo either; it’s a fun way to exert some control over this incredibly volatile time. Sexting is a release, a domain for your uninhibited desires. 

And right now? Pleasure is principal. The pandemic has us sequestered. So why deny ourselves? Go on and get some. Sexting that is.