Reading: Acronyms for Grownups

Growing up, my parents spoke Yiddish when they didn’t want us kids to understand (they switched to French once we caught on to Yiddish.)

These days it’s our kids who speak in code, using acronyms only they can decipher. Well, two can play this game, LOL. It’s time for our generation to invent our own secret acronyms.

I propose:

• FOML: Fear of missing lunch
• DNUMS: Do NOT upgrade my system
• ICHDY: I could have diapered you
• PMR Post-menopausal rage
• FOIT: Fuck off; I’m tweezing
• IYWNNP: It’s “You’re welcome,” not “No problem”
• WAIITR: Why am I in this room?
• MRHC: My real hair color
• ITGP: Is that a gray pube?
• BO: Bras off
• NLMP: No longer my problem
• DTLITY: Does this look infected to you?
• YLMAH: You lost me at hello
• PUYP: Pick up your phone!

If even one of these acronyms goes viral, my life will not have been in vain.

Amy Sunshine is a New Jersey-based writer and a former editor at Parents and Self magazines.

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